mjj (flemmings) wrote,

Well, we have this entry, summarizing why het stories may turn women off. But me, I was struck by the first quote:
No matter how great the author is in bed, her idea of what sex should be like is just different enough from my idea to make me uncomfortable. The interaction, the emotion, and the atmosphere are just twisted enough to wig me out.
...because I have the same problem with a lot of slash sex. And occasionally with yaoi sex, but not nearly as often, because yaoi writers generally don't see their characters as, y'know, real men. The bizarre and improbable sex of much yaoi doesn't bother me particularly, since it takes place between bizarre and improbable characters to start with. With silver hair and purple eyes often as not. However I've pretty much stopped reading slash writers entirely, even- or should I say, especially- when they write in Japanese fandoms, because their common tropes give me the creeps. (No, not the fantods, for once. The fantods are too subtle for this kind of saltpetre prose.) As examples:

Those fics where one guy tells the other (conflicted about m/m) guy, with ineffable smugness 'You know you want me. You can't deny it' and the other character doesn't punch him in the nose even though if he were *in* character (Klaus, Bodie) he would, without thinking. But he doesn't, because being in helpless panting lust and not noticing what an insensitive git the lust-object is, is somehow seen as hot by the writer.

Teasing anythings. 'Teasing kiss' 'teasing touch' 'teasing finger.' Teasing conveys nothing to me except the desire to tease. Which I find a turn-off in literature and life alike. Give me prolonged kisses and grabbing hands and stuff that speaks of passion; that's my preferance.

I'm not overly fond of 'stroking hands' either. Stroking *is* neat as a RL sensation, but as words on the page I find it going into Penthouse Letter style. Actually, far too many sex scenes read like Penthouse to me, or a desperate attempt to avoid Penthouse. You lose either way.

(At this point I should insert the standard song and dance routine about the sad lack of a respectable erotic vocabulary in English and the sad way the vocabulary that does exist has been tainted by the culture's attitude to sex, which is (90%) that sex is a smutty activity conducted by the inner 12 year old or (10%) that sex is Uplifting Enlightening Mind-blowing Archetypal and Biblical. Take it as read.)

Oh, you know- 'How do you like *this*?' 'Hey, how's that feel? Good, huh, that's really good, huh?' 'Feel *that*? Yeah, ya feel *that*?? Ya like that, right? Ohhh yeah!' I'm sure there are people who get turned on by this sort of stuff, though I can't quite see how. Me, I think if you've got nothing intelligent to say, keep your flipping mouth shut and, y'know, get on with it.

Also- IME it's extremely difficult to be witty during sex. Characters that try to generally end up sounding like twelve year olds. Sex between twelve year olds turns me off, especially when they're twenty-some twelve year olds. I'm all for a decent silence. Well, unless you're following the yaoi trope in which the seme chatters away about everything on his mind, including a deep and err penetrating analysis of the uke's state of mind, while the uke of course is reduced to wordless groans and blushes and repeated orgasms. But that's because female me *of course* can think non-stop during sex about matters utterly unrelated to the activity at hand, so the thinking-out-loud seme seems not merely natural but congenial.
Tags: writing

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