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Fabulous invalid: the continuing saga - Off the Cliff

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Thu Jan 23rd, 2014

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07:42 pm - Fabulous invalid: the continuing saga
"O codeine, quam dulcis est memoria tua mulieri dolorem habenti in corpore suo."

(Google the original Vulgate and you discover a really punk poem by Dowson, worse than Hallelujah after Cohen finished jerking around with it.)

The side-effects of codeine become more unpleasant with age, but may I say, just for now, that for the first time in a week I am without pain. And after a week of razor blades in the throat, this is most welcome.

"Don't get this wet," the surgeon said as she wrapped gauze about my right index finger-- and wrapped, and wrapped, and wrapped. "Would surgical gloves work?" I asked. "Mh, it's going to be pretty sizable," she said: and yes indeed, twice the width and more of the original digit. "Try a plastic bag with an elastic, maybe." I've always found those let water in, even as one's hand (foot, whatever) is going blue from the tightness of the elastic. "Or you could use a condom." Which (cough) is what I am doing, because when I'm near water it splashes all by itself.

However I can see me being one-eyed for a week, because I can't get my contacts in and out left-handed, and barely managed the out part with my right thumb and middle finger. And how good that I mended those five sheets from work in this morning's 4 am insomnia, because I'm clearly not sewing for a little while either.

(7 comments | post comment)


[User Picture]
Date:January 24th, 2014 02:48 am (UTC)
Sympathy on the inconvenience, and roll on it being over.
[User Picture]
Date:January 24th, 2014 02:56 am (UTC)
Thanks. Oh but this month has been one for the books. I begin to think longingly of spring, a season I normally dislike.
[User Picture]
Date:January 24th, 2014 05:25 am (UTC)
Oh dear! Your poor finger! Yes, plastic bag with elastic doesn't work unless you bag up the entire limb, from my experience.
[User Picture]
Date:January 24th, 2014 01:31 pm (UTC)
And water will *still* trickle in and down to find that lovely absorbent cotton.

Condoms have the plus of keeping my bandage clean as well.
[User Picture]
Date:January 24th, 2014 09:47 am (UTC)
Ouf ... that is a lot to deal with. *hugs* - hope all that awful stuff goes away sharpish!

Can you make do with spectacles! (I am in awe that you persevere with contacts ... I wore them once upon a time and found them to be downright nuisances. A very tiny part of me believes that a small tiny part of me just needs to hide behind glasses as much as inconvenience) ^_^

*more hugs*
[User Picture]
Date:January 24th, 2014 09:48 am (UTC)
... and really a plastic bag with elastic? It sounds really impractical, not to mention, inconvenient and quite likely unworkable as well.

Your solution is genius!
[User Picture]
Date:January 24th, 2014 01:29 pm (UTC)

The condom was her solution, actually, said so casually I wondered why she assumed a mid-60s woman would have such things handy as a matter of course. Fortunately I didn't dispose of my stash after my hormones deserted me; fortunately also they're neither the bright pastel ones I used to buy in Japan nor the brown sticky ones they used to sell here. But surgeons are convinced that a plastic bag and an elastic will create an air-tight seal that keeps any bandage dry. I can only assume they've never had minor surgery.

My contacts are disposable ie whisper-thin bits of cling-film that will fall off a hand, or out of a dry eye, at a moment's notice. I can't use glasses- the post-cataract eye is long-sighted, the other myopic. I'd need a monocle. This is not to say that in certain dry-eyed seasons, when no contact = no depth vision, that I don't miss the convenience.

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