mjj (flemmings) wrote,

Since then 'tis centuries

Twenty years ago today I became a fan. Possibly I'm still one: one shouldn't confuse fandom with production, though production is one of the nicest aspects of fandom and its lack always feel like the thrill has gone. On my fifth anniversary I wasn't feeling very fannish and wasn't writing much, but on my tenth and fifteenth I was deep in dragons and Woxin, respectively, and as far as I can recall only vaguely noticed what day it was. Now, well, I lack the hormones that gave such impetus to my first becoming a fan, but sometimes I can almost remember the vision of erotesis that burst on me on that drizzly Saturday night in Tokyo-- the shift into a new and different universe completely.

It seems meditation has taken the place of anime/manga hawtness. Time was, when I woke in the morning and lay half-awake in my snuggly bed, I'd turn into a character or two and watch them interact and listen to their conversations, which sometimes I'd remember enough of to work into the current story. Now I count my breaths and think of nothing. And sometimes this leads to the same sense of Elsewhere as before and sometimes it doesn't; but like story-telling it gives me something to do in the lulls of life.

(Walking too-- used to plot stories, now I watch my breath. Walking is good though-- lets me hear crickets and cicadas, and watch orange full moons rise over the currently heat-hazy city, and occasionally remember other summer nights, reading the kappa manga in '03, or walking to Tasty's in '01, or other times even longer ago than that.)

What have you just finished?
Timeless. Have her next series on hold at the library, 33rd of 33.

What are you reading now?
Peter S Beagle, Sleight of Hand, on Kara's rec. I see what she means about magic in Beagle's universe being, well, naturally there for the using, and usable to good purpose. Beagle though often makes me antsy, and has since I first read him in ohh 1972 was it? I don't know why. Something is just... off. Uncongenial.

What will you read next?
I feel the urge to read some Soseki or Mori in translation, off the shelf, though these urges never seem to go anywhere. Maybe a hot weather mystery. Maybe whatever turns up next in the library potluck ('place hold and forget').

What have you given up on?
Higashino Keigo, Gen'ya /幻夜. This one reads exactly like a recurring nightmare that I have-- someone kills somebody quite randomly and without conscious thought and someone else sees them doing it, and the murderer then has to deal with the possibility of being found out. In my dreams I keep trying to hide the body. There's no need for the murderer to do that here, but even a suggestion of the crushing guilt and anxiety the dream carries with it makes the book much too uncomfortable to read.
Tags: fandom, meme, reading_13, religion, rl_13, writing

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