The jumping to important bits and leaving out the interim action- even when we've been led up to expect to see the action- and the emphasis on results also feels like manga cutting. We don't need to see it all. What matters is seeing the characters' faces as they deal with what happened.
I must add, in all honesty, that the last third or so reminded me of Angel Sanctuary as well, in its chaotic three cars driving down a cliff fashion. Keeping track of who's where doing what gets impossible as the various whos set out to get hold of the other whos who have just magicked out in a blast of flame, somehow *not* taking the villain who was bolted into the room with them along. In fact the villain is both alive and in favour as of book 2, and I'm seriously perplexed as to both how and why. He's a traitor to the throne several times over, at the very least; why does the throne still think he's necessary?
I was wondering how she'd avoid having her umm major character avoid the Marty Stu pit he seemed to be so nonchalantly galloping towards. Making him male-type dense at important moments wasn't the solution I was hoping for, perhaps, though it works only too well. (Stupid *git*.) And I need to find a term for this type of character, cause Marty Stu isn't it. Peter Wimsey is, maybe. You're not supposed to identify with this perfect male, you (the female reader by default) are supposed to fall in love with him yourself.