February 8th, 2021

hasui hirakawa morning

(no subject)

I don't ordinarily get February blahs. January blahs, yes, occasionally, and after last year's January PTSD I think it will be a long time before I feel any kindness towards the month. February is the month when it's light well after 5 pm and the days are growing noticeably longer. But in other Februaries I left the house almost daily to see people, even if I sometimes had to do it by cab, and now I don't. In other Februaries I *could* leave the house and walk over to the super, even in snow, and this year I can't. Snow tomorrow and Thursday and Friday and the foreseeable future. Bleh.

I can hope a knee replacement will give me back my mobility but I wish I didn't keep coming across horror stories- 'I had a blood clot and the doctor said that only my healthy heart, from walking an hour every day, kept me from dying'; 'I had a knee replacement and now my tendons are all spongey and won't hold me up'; 'after my knee replacement I couldn't kneel any more' etc etc. I mean, que será será and all that, but I'm feeling distinctly Eeyore at the moment.