mjj (flemmings) wrote,

Random thoughts on the female remove-program program

Me, I never thought random mention of tampons constituted too much information, but you never know what information is too much for some people, hence I cut.

So as it's been five months since I had a period and seven since I had one that wasn't 'make up your mind already', I feel safe removing the sanitary products from convenient storage (bedroom shelf) to inconvenient (under the sink.) And that's that and very nice too. Am especially glad to be done with the 'five pounds on/ ow ow ow/ five pounds off in a day' routine.

I'm sure there'll be future fireworks along the way, maybe, but I was sure there'd be fireworks before now and there haven't been. Compared to just about everyone else I know this has been a cakewalk. No insomnia, no hot flashes, no unforeseen deluges. Briefly heavier periods at one point, which annoyed me at the time but were nothing compared to what I went through in my 20's. Brief experience of cramps, which was at least instructive. Occasional murderous rage, but that's been me since childhood. Otherwise nothing. Soya, you are a wonder.

But I do think this sudden annoying sensitivity to temperature must be a side-effect. I'm always too hot unless I'm too cold. I'm too hot in the daytime at work and in my study and if the temp is over 65F unless the air is moving. I'm too cold on the living room sofa unless the temp is over 70F and then I'm too hot unless the air is moving. Under 70F I'm dressed as if for the outdoors and huddled under a flannel-covered duvet with heating packs and wishing for fingerless gloves. Yesterday was record-breaking warm. You couldn't have proved it by me.

I'm too cold in bed even when it's too hot to have covers on. Videlicet: at such times I'm too hot unless the air's moving, but if it's moving I'm too cold. Thus me wearing long-sleeved shirts to bed in August so as not to be chilled by the fan. Thus me wearing long-sleeved shirts, hooded sweatshirt, flannel pyjama pants and woolly socks to bed in September when the lows were 45F. With two quilts and a hot water bottle. Then removing socks and quilts and whatever when I got too hot. Balance, there's no balance. My eyes have balanced nicely now, why can't the internal heating/ cooling system manage it?

I'm resigned that I must find a nightcap somewhere. I can't sleep with my head uncovered no matter what the temperature. When the hoodie gets on my nerves too much (the hood slips open at the side and the horrible cold air hits my poor poor ears) I've been contriving a cocoon out of various light cotton sheets but the way I thrash around that can get too close to auto-asphyxiation. What I need is a balaclava: one that's not made from wool. Such things do not exist. I mean, try finding even a balaclava these days.

Maybe it'll all even out when it's cold enough to turn the heat on. Or, you know, not. Heat's always dicey anyway: 68 degrees is too hot if the wind's from the east, not nearly warm enough if it's from the west.

Since this is a TMI post, I'll also mention a handy household hint. Good citizen me now has a new water-conserving toilet: not the smallest tank on the market but much smaller than the previous one. And of course there are problems with low volumes of water: at least once a month the stupid toilet would refuse to finish flushing and back up; and not always for the reason you're thinking. 'Too much tp. Hang up and try your flush again.' Then I had to plunger it and then it would flush and jeez was it a pain.

Now, I'm also a sucker for certain ladies' magazines, the ones with simply dazzling chicken recipes! and the miracle herb that erases years! and walk off forty pounds by Thanksgiving! even though Thanksgiving was two weeks ago. They tell you useful stuff from time to time, and one such hint was: if you have an overflowing toilet, turn on the sink taps. Whether it cuts water volume or water pressure I forget, but it works. And it works on my toilet. Now I start washing my hands before I flush, and to date my toilet obediently swishes and gurgles and sometimes sort of thinks about it, but in the end it swallows.
Tags: rl_07
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