Possibly I misunderstand the ethos at work. A live journal is an online webpage viewable by anyone unless it's f-locked. Why the objection to people viewing it? Why the objection to people using the tool provided- lj friending- in order to view it more conveniently? Why the hint of paranoid hysteria? "OMG this person is stalking me by reading the webpage I have online." (Stalking = reads someone else's journal? Sheesh.) "I've checked her through lj toys and she's come to look at my lj *every single day.* eww shudder scary"
Ahh-bwah? Someone reading your lj every day is scary? I thought that was the point of the thing. If it was any other kind of wp there'd be complaints that people *weren't* looking at them. The logic, she does not follow.
If people read me I take it as a tribute to my scintillating wit- or to the doomed hopes of the poor bunnies who think maybe I'll post fannish stuff- knowing that in all possibility they're just here for my friends list and nothing to do with me at all. Specialized corners of fandom can be most conveniently accessed through certain major termini, though I'm not one of them- am barely Uguisudani to the Ikebukuro or Shinjuku of people like incandescens or petronia.
People I don't know friend me, I go look at their ljs. Simple enough. Besides, asking people to say why they friended you comes perilously close IMO to begging for ego-strokes. You know it's going to be all 'I love the way you write' or 'I'm here for more of your wonderful fics' and no 'Your foaming insanity gives me my daily dose of LOLZ' or 'I want to be the first to report your next bit of idiocy to F_W.'
And the commenting thing- meh. Commenting is what I think strangers should be hesitant about, not friending. What we have here is an online journal accessible to everyone unless I say it's not, where everyone can comment unless I say they can't. Fannish ethos still doesn't suggest that anyone *may* wander into anyone else's journal and drop a comment out of nowhere. Seems to me that solecism is only considered reasonable if the post has been linked elsewhere, like metafandom or metaquotes, and the commenter says that's where she saw it- to avoid suggestions of that profound mystery, 'stalking'. Me, I beg to differ on that point. Metaquotes asks permission, mostly; metafandom doesn't; and it annoys me when people wander in from metafandom and start taking issue with a post, serenely confident that there's no breach of etiquette involved and the original post was indeed aimed at the world, hoping for the world's comments, and not at one's circle of readers.
So yeah- a random stranger wants to start a conversation with me here, fine. 'Some of my best lj friends began that way.' A random stranger wants to fap meta here, not fine. Take it to your own journal, please and thanks.