It's a given of my life that any phone call before nine a.m. will be the Dolorous Phonecall. 'Can you work for me in an hour?' 'Can you work for me in fifteen minutes?' 'Can you be here ten minutes ago?' and occasionally 'So-and-so is dead.' (That one's happened twice, is why I'm still antsy about (what I call early) morning phonecalls.) Today however the 8:20 phone call- that I was up and awake for, yes- was a vigorous manly voice that startled me so much it took a minute for the message to sink in. 'DHL here. I have another package for you from amazon.jp. You wanna leave me a note saying it's OK to leave it without a signature? and I'll put a sticker on your door like the other one.' (Fedex FTR) Yes. Thank you, kind sir.
1) In a scant six weeks I have become A Regular.
2) The 100 Demons 3&4 I ordered Thursday is coming today. Maybe amazon.jp has suspended its surface shipments for the duration?
I can go happily out in the cold rain to work.
So homasse was noting the thing she has about White Christmas; to wit, that in her youth the Klan used to march to it. I'm inspired by this. Could I spread it around that it has white supremacist connotations? Could I get it banned from the airwaves and the muzak CDs? Could I remove at least one season blighter from the sea of noise pollution around me? And what can I do about Rockin' around the Christmas Tree and Winter Wonderland and The Christmas Song (chess nut roasting in an open foyer)? I can live with Jingle Bell Rock but you know the one I'd really love to kill and bury ten feet deep?
Silent Night. In all its manifestations. Every. Single. One.
And replace with Quelle est cette odeur agréable and Hasten to Bethlehem and There is no rose and the Coventry Carol and Quem pastores and Past three o'clock and a cold frosty morn. ('Pass me a clock on a cold and frosty morning' from this page of Mondegreens, which has some gems more familiar to this side of the Atlantic: 'The ants are my friends, they're blowing in wind' and 'You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille, With four hundred children and a crap in the fields' and 'Here comes the rain again, falling on my face like a newt in motion.'
Andy Turner contibutes this Simon & Garfunkel mishearing by a German busker - from The Boxer:And this other one
Just a come-on from the horse on Second Avenue
(Just a come-on from the whores on Second Avenue)
It was made worse by the next line, correctly sung as:
I do declare there were times when I was so lonesome I took some comfort there. "
A little girl in Sydney Town she said, "Don't leave me lonely."OK, yes: I am a suck for a pun, I am a suck for a mondegreen, I'm going to work.
I said, "That's sad, but my old Dad has room for one man only."
(I said, "That's sad, but my old prad (horse) ...")