mjj (flemmings) wrote,
mjj
flemmings

What dreams may come

One side effect of either my meds or my current no need to be anywhere-ness is that I dream even in the shallows of sleep. As in, Awake!me thinks What time is it anyway? or I need to pee, and then Dream!me looks at the clock to see it's 9:15 or gets up and walks down the hall, and Awake!me says No no no, you're still dreaming, what time is it? or Start those stretches because you can't get up just like that and not fall over. 

That's the more mundane version. Often enough I'm dreaming people doing things or certain places, aware that I'm dreaming but watching it like television. (Is that lucid? There's never any notion that I can change what I'm watching, any more than I could change the action of a TV show.) But watching today's installment, it occurred to me that this is pretty much what I used to do back when I had hormones and could lie awake and tell myself stories: or rather, watch the stories happen in my head. When that first stopped I remember being perplexed at the experience of 'I'm awake, there's nothing to do but get up.' I do miss that ability. Dreams will have to do instead, but they don't last. The stories I could write down later and put on the net.

It took a long time to fall asleep last night and then I woke up and had to pee, which is probably why I slept in and had the sleeping-in dreams. As always, and disconcertingly, I'm much more limber when I get out of bed mid-night than when I wake in the morning. Deep sleep tightens everything up. And I did in fact have a period of waking with knee pain as well. How lucky that I don't need to be anywhere these days.
Tags: dreams, rl_20
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